For those of you who think I am Cosmo just because I can do a standing backflip or because I can do a layout, I would like to make a formal disclaimer.
I am neither Cosmo nor am I in any way affiliated with the Team Cosmo.
However much I appreciate the flattery, I am not that talented. Although I can hold a handstand for well over a minute, that alone does not qualify me for the vast range of acrobatic skills required to be a member of Team Cosmo.
I first became aware of the confusion when my professor, Dr. McDonald, asked if I was a member of the glitterati formally known as Team Cosmo. I informed him that I was not but since members of the fellowship are sworn to secrecy, I knew my remarks didn't affect his suspicions. However, I figured anyone could fool a seventy year old man into thinking they were agile. My true concern of my deception wasn't until a BYU gymnast approached me (I really approached her but let a man imagine). When she asked me if I was Cosmo, I decided I should inform my fans. Again, I am not Cosmo. So now that you know, you don't have to ask. I am still, however, accepting complements...
We all know blind dates are the worst. They never work out and yadda yadda yadda, you've heard this. Now something new. Blind Dates usually have the connotation that the person is a complete stranger before the date, not after. We assume the awkwardness of the blind date will only last for at most the duration of the evening. However, this is not always the case. Just the other day, I walked up to a good family friend. When I saw her, she was conversing with two other ladies. She politely introduced me after which I asked the two ladies for their names. I looked at one of them and she responds, "We actually went on a double date together. I went with your friend Davey, and you went with, well you went with her," pointing to the other girl. I immediately remembered the affair but was too embarrassed to materialize any sensible retort...
