Monday, January 24, 2011

Canterbury Tales Excerpt


I guess I loved him best of all, for he
Gave of his love most sparingly to me.
We women have, if I am not lightly have,
And after that we'll cry all day and crave.
Forbid a thing, and that thing covet we;
Press hard upon us, then we turn and flee.
Sparingly offer we our goods, when fair;
Great crowds at market make for dearer ware,
And what's too common brings but little price;
All this knows every woman who is wise.
-The Wife of Bath

Sunday, January 2, 2011

A Known Christmas Surprise


This Christmas I had the perfect idea for presents to give to my parents. Now let me preface this; situated in the Weber River Valley of the Uinta Mountain Range is a cozy cabin, the Redd-Holyoak Cabin, named not after a tree but its owners. For eight years our cousins and we have owned the cabin and for eight years we've been slowly furnishing it. At first Dad wanted to keep it quaint, a refuge from technology, no t.v., no internet, but eventually we convinced him to get a t.v. and a dvd player but we never found a complementary t.v. stand. Eight years passed of all of us being witnesses to endless complaints from my mother about the difficultly to see our t.v., since it rested on the floor. One summer even, my mom and sister decided to make a table where we could put the t.v. so that it'd be easier to see but, as with most vacation oriented projects, it was never completed. Eight years of hearing my mother complain led me to the best present idea ever imaginable, an entertainment stand! Who would ever expect their children to get them furniture; she'd never see it coming. Now due to our tightfisted up-brings, we didn't feel like buying separate presents for our parents and so it was settled, the kids agreed to get a t.v. stand for our parents, just something simple to get by until they found something better. As we were doing our family shopping, we, the kids, snuck away to Pier One to check out furniture. We debated between a few stands but eventually decided on an affordable one. Perfect, we were trying to check out until we realized that there was only the floor model in stock. Abort mission! Failure! We decided we could find adifferent one somewhere else or in a different store. So we met back up with the family. Meanwhile, Taylor, one of my brothers, had been busy asking our dad's opinion on the present... Wait. What? We were getting it for both of them; how could he be so careless in his conversation. Great, now dad knew what we were up to. UGGHHH
Now we had to think of something new for my dad but at least mom would be surprised. Finding a substitute present for Dad was easy, a $10 salt lick would be a perfect present for the cabin, plus splitting it four ways with the boys wouldn't be too expensive. So back to getting mom's present. We went home and searched online and found the same Pier One t.v. stand in the Salt Lake branch. It was perfect, in two days, someone had to pick up our brother-in-law from the airport anyways, so I volunteered to go pick him up so that I could swing by Pier One on the way back. So the plan was set and all systems go.
Game day came around and my dad audibled and decided to go pick up Lance from the airport so that he can see his parents who live in Salt Lake. Okay, not only was this going to take a lot longer, it was going to be hard to hide the present from dad (since he never knew we were actually going to buy the stand). On the way down, I asked my dad if he thought there'd be enough room for us to pick something up from Pier One. Perturbed, he decided there'd be room and that we could pick something up but, only upon my revealing of the desired purchase. I told him and he decided we should check other stores, all of which I knew would be outside of our price range. In his desperation to find a furniture store, he called my mom. She told him and asked why he wanted to know, without hesitation, he told her we were getting her a t.v. stand for Christmas! All of our hard work, the time we spent sneaking around, trying to surprise our mom and he ruined it in five seconds. I took a 3 hour trip to Salt Lake and back in order to surprise my mom and the surprise was up. How disappointing! I was too mad to think of a way to cover up what he had said. When we got home, my mom commented on how careless my dad had been. I didn't know what to say, so I just went inside. We got the box with the stand inside, not exactly unseen from mother's eyes. We put it in the basement and hope she'd forget about it. Christmas day came around and Trevor and I woke up before anyone else and set up the stand, setting up the t.v. with all of the accessories. We turned the couches around to face the tree instead of the t.v. When our mom walked in, she strode right past the t.v. stand and even examined something on the fireplace hearth literally inches from the t.v. stand without each acknowledging her present. I was kind of upset that she didn't even say anything but I figured she was waiting her
turn to acknowledge her present. We went along with the proceedings and after awhile my sister observed that my mom hadn't even noticed it yet. So I quickly wrote a note, wrapped it, and gave it to my mom. "LOOK BEHIND YOU" it read. She looked around and was shocked to see a brand new t.v. stand! She truly hadn't noticed it! She was so oblivious that we even convinced her that we did it after she came in the room! Plus on top of that, my dad had told her we decided not to get one. The 'Known' Christmas Surprise ended up being a surprise after all! It was a miracle!